Facilitator's Manual to Mending Hearts After Loss Group

A facilitator's guide for leading successful perinatal loss groups.


Having supported hundreds of people as they move through tragedy and build on their inner strengths, there are four main elements that enables parents to move through perinatal loss.
  • Enhance and strengthen coping skills.
  • Build an accessible support system.
  • Create and use rituals to maintain connection and values.
  • Clarify identity changes

This program weaves the 4 main elements throughout the exercises and covers the following group topics:
  • Understanding the grief process in perinatal loss.
  • Multiple ways to process grief.
  • Responding to dreaded questions.
  • Enhancing connection with partners/loved ones.
  • Identity changes as a result of grief.
  • Managing triggers, anniversaries, and holidays.
  • Creativity in the grief process.
  • Working with and releasing anger, bitterness, and sorrow.
  • Strategies to manage secondary losses.
  • Ways to embrace life, love and living.

Why pay for a Done for YOU curriculum?

  • You can support bereaved parents right away.
  • Take the stress out of group facilitation.
  • Do what you do best without the obstacle of finding great content.
  • Can customize to your needs and that of your participants.
  • With a curriculum of 12 modules, you have a lot of flexibility for running groups whether they are 4 weeks, 8 weeks, 12 weeks or even 1-hour workshops!

I know you have questions, so see the FAQ section below for most answers!


Your Instructor


Tara May, Ph.D.
Tara May, Ph.D.

This group manual was born from a combination of my professional and lived experiences. It is dedicated to my daughter Jessie who died during pregnancy. At the time this curriculum was developed, there was little in the way of perinatal loss education and psychoeducational grief support resources. I created this based on my experience of what has helping my perinatal loss clients and from my own needs at the time as I moved through this devastating experience. The content reflects a combination of approaches including Art Therapy, CBT, Adaptive Information Processing, Mindfulness, resource development, and grief coaching interventions.

Over the past 10 years, I have provided and contributed to many free resources for professionals and bereaved parents in the hopes of promoting education, support, and healing, and hope.

This curriculum was further refined as I began leading groups with this content and incorporated more of the resilience and strength building resources that came from my EMDR training, which is necessary for helping parents move through these losses. The primary goals of this program are to build connection, hope, and to enhance the internal strength and resilience necessary to move through the pain of these losses.

Now for my professional credibility stats:

  • PhD received in Clinical Psychology 1998
  • Began private practice in 1998 and began working with perinatal and non-perinatal clients as a Clinical Psychologist.
  • Licensed in CA and WA

I hold the following certifications:

  • Perinatal Mental Health (PSI)
  • Clinical Trauma Professional
  • EMDR (EMDRIA)
  • EMDRIA Approved Consultant
  • EMDR HAP Facilitator

Speaking Engagements

I have been asked to speak about pregnancy and infant loss for many organizations including:

  • Kaiser Permanente
  • Portland Doula Association
  • Baby Blues Connection
  • Doula Training International




Course Curriculum


  Group 1 My heart hurts
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  Group 2: Setting the course for your journey
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  Group 3: Grieving together and apart
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  Group 4: Managing Triggers
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  Group 5: Identity Changes
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  Module 6: Creativity in grief
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  Module 7: Creating connections
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  Module 8: Embracing and Releasing Anger
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  Group 9: Moving through sorrow
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  Module 10: Managing holidays and anniversaries
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  Module 11: Secondary losses
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  Module 12: Embracing Life and Love
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  AUDIO FILES
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Frequently Asked Questions


If I hold course virtually, can I cross state lines?
This course was created as a psychoeducational course, with no assumption of treating a mental health condition, If you use the manual to provide services remotely, be sure you are in compliance with all the rules in your jurisdiction. If you are a licensed mental health clinician facilitating this course, you must be clear in your paperwork that you are not establishing a therapeutic relationship with the group members, you are not billing insurance, and you are not treating a mental health disorder. It is always a good idea to check with your licensing board or malpractice insurance to be sure you are in compliance.
How long do I have access to the course?
How does lifetime access sound? After enrolling, you have the option to download this course which gives you unlimited access to this course for as long as you like.
Do I have to be a licensed mental health professional to facilitate?
This program has been created to address the challenges and support needed for perinatal loss and there is no assumption of there being a mental disorder. This curriculum can be used by clinicians or non-clinicians. Each facilitator assumes responsibility for adhering to the applicable rules and regulations for their situation. The group can be tailored for members who are also struggling with a mental health diagnosis and can be facilitated by a mental health clinician. The clinician assumes responsibility for adhering to and being in compliance with all the rules in your jurisdiction and licensing board.
How do I structure the group? (time frame/open vs closed)
This program was created as a weekly program, with each group being 90 minutes. It is best structured as a closed group to enhance group connection and to be sure everyone gets the same information and exercises. Be sure you map out the dates/times for your program to share with participants. You can certainly alter that based on your own needs. I have found that holding the group on Tues/Wed evenings or Saturdays was helpful for most. Consider time zone and when participates are likely to be available. (Mondays tend to have too many holidays that disrupt the schedule and people are usually wiped out on Fridays). 7pm-8:30 or 7:30-9 has worked well for me.
Can I share these modules and information with others?
You paid to have access to this guide, and it cost me a lot to create it and offer it to you. If you share it unofficially, it is at the cost to both of us. Therefore, you are expected to use it for your own groups. If you know someone who wants to lead groups, you can refer them to the home page so they can decide if they want to buy it for themselves.
Are there refunds if I decide this is not what I want?
There is a ton of useful information and exercises in this guide to use with bereaved parents, whether in a group format or individually. Due to the nature of this guide, you have 7 days from the purchase date to review the information and request a refund if you change your mind. Please note that if you download any part of the program, the ability to get a refund is not applicable. Once the 7-day window has passed, a refund is no longer available.
Can this guide only be used for facilitating groups?
No, in fact, I have used these modules with bereaved parents on an individual basis and also with couples. There's so much rich information that you can pull from any of the modules to help address certain issues that the parent is struggling with.
Can I use this as a 4 week group instead?
Absolutely! I have purposely made a lot of content available to you so that you can customize it for your needs and situation. You can pull from any of the modules that serve you best. You can use one of the modules to structure a one-hour group/workshop, a 4-week group, or however much time you have. Note that some modules have a ton of written content, you don't have to use it all. Pace yourself and monitor the needs of your group. It is meant to allow for flexibility and to give you plenty of content to draw from.
How much should I charge for the group?
Great question and one to consider for your needs and that of the parents you serve. When I ran these groups, I charged 1 set fee for the whole group, it came out to $250/month (weekly sessions at 90 minutes). With participant's consent, I would record groups (virtual) and make available in case someone had to miss the group. I would allow for sliding fee slots to make it more equitable and available to those who were experiencing financial hardship.
Do you provide consent forms?
Unfortunately, no, if I did, I'd probably have to charge triple the price due to paying my own attorney to review. Due to legal liability and the various needs and regulations depending on who is facilitating the group, you would create your own consent forms. Additionally, this curriculum can be used by mental health and non-mental health facilitators, therefore you would need to be sure you are in compliance with applicable rules/regulations.
How do you address diversity, equity and inclusion?
The language used throughout the program is meant to be inclusive of various situations where the death of an infant occurs. It is up to each facilitator to provide a safe anti-racism and inclusive environment, where members can focus on what they need for themselves and those they care about. When I ran these groups, I also made a lot of free resources available for those who could not afford the group, or when the scholarship spots were full.

I am proud and honored to be among the amazing healers of the baby loss community with a passion to support bereaving parents. Thank you for caring so deeply and taking action to give the best resources and support to these huring parents.

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